Cindy Jacobs: What to Do When You Are at the End of Your Rope

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May 2, 2020

From the Desk of Steve Shultz:

Steve ShultzBelieve me...this word by Cindy Jacobs will minister to many...especially now.

Cindy is very real and transparent in her recent word here...and many will be able to relate to it.

I encourage you to "be real" with God; sometimes that means getting in His face, so to speak. He is faithful and He'll come through for you! (To Subscribe to the Elijah List subscribe here.)

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Life can be stressful. Circumstances beyond our control can hit us. At those times, we can be overwhelmed with many emotions that say, among other things, "This just isn't fair."

You may be familiar with the picture depicting a cat hanging onto the end of a knotted rope with the caption, "Hang in there, baby!" I think that most of us have moments when we relate to that cat. We are hanging onto our emotions for dear life!

Two years before our son, Daniel, was born, Mike had a dream that we were going to have a son. He was our child of promise. But when it was actually time for Daniel to be born, there were so many complications. Nothing was going as planned!

We did everything "right." I was careful about what I ate, I had regular check-ups, and I prayed for him. Still, I was unprepared for the spiritual warfare that would come surrounding his birth.

First, I was believing to have a normal delivery after having had a cesarean section for our daughter. Instead, I developed an infection in the amniotic fluid that ended up requiring an emergency c-section. I was running a fever and Daniel was in danger.

Second, he was a "blue baby" at birth, meaning he was not properly making blood. I remember noticing him looking bluish, and his foot was turned at a funny angle. We found out later that his body was not creating red blood cells, so he was started on blood transfusions right away.

Third, as I mentioned, his foot was, indeed, at a strange angle and looked crumpled up. He actually had a congenital clubfoot, just like my mother. (I am happy to report that none of our six grandchildren have a clubfoot though.)

On the first night after his birth, the doctors would only say to me, "He is holding his own." However, they could not say that he would live. Needless to say, we prayed hard! (Photo via Wallpaperflare)

Thrown into the mix was the fact that many of the women in our church were having healthy home deliveries. No one came to see me for about five days because I had "failed in faith," or so it seemed.

The good news was that Daniel had a turnaround and started making red blood cells. However, I still had to leave the hospital without him and go back three times a day to feed him, all the while very sore from the cesarean.

Pushed to the Limits

One could definitely say life was tough. But there were still more circumstances that intensified the already difficult situation. Mike had been transferred to Dallas, Texas, from another city, El Paso. Our house was on the market for a year and did not sell after Daniel was born. We had strangers in and out of the house because it was on the market. My mom and Mike's mom came to help me as we were living in a large, two-story house, and I had just had surgery. They got mad at each other and both left! (They are now in Heaven so I feel free to share this part of the story.)

I was taking Daniel to have casts put on his foot to turn it around. I had to soak it off each week as the doctor said he did not want to risk cutting him at such a young age. This process took a long time; Daniel would cry and cry, and I would cry too! To top it off, I was still not feeling well myself. Things looked dark, dark, dark.

Thank God for my one friend who cared for our daughter when the baby was born. She was a trooper. However, we had to wait until Mike would come home on Friday to get food as I could not drive. I almost crawled up and down the stairs to feed her. No one brought food; it felt to me like it was because I had lacked the faith to have a natural delivery. I felt desperately lonely.

One night, I had reached the end of my rope! I cried out to the Lord, "You said that You would not give us more than we can bear, and there is a definite difference of opinion about that right now! I can't take anymore!"

Later that night, Mike had to leave at 3:00 AM to catch an early flight back to Dallas to work at his job at American Airlines. I begged him not to go, but he had to leave to keep his job. After he left, I said to the Lord, "Lord, don't lay what I am going to say at anyone's feet but mine. This is just me speaking. I just don't believe that You love me! If You loved me, all these bad things would not be happening. I can't stand this situation anymore!"

Cindy, God Loves You

After I had bared my soul to God... (continue reading)

 

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